Men Are Emotional Beings

November 14, 2010

As I write this article, I recollect an incident dating back to about a year ago. A man from Pune was talking to me on phone about how the local tabloid, “Pune Mirror” had covered the false implication of the man in a matrimonial case, the man being accused of abetting his wife’s suicide whereas the wife was alive and kicking! Despite it being a known fact, the anti-male judiciary was not ready to give justice to the man. After much persuasion, Pune Mirror carried the story and it rocked the city.

The man narrated to me about how his colleagues back in office reacted to the situation. He said mostly women understood his pain and empathized with him whereas his male colleagues looked perplexed – unaware of how to react to this situation.

As I listened to him my belief of mutilated emotional health of men was getting validated and I could easily trace back the root of the behavior to the emotional castration that boys undergo as part of normal social upbringing. I could clearly see the plugging of emotions of men caused due to the psychologically disastrous “emotional time-bombs” – as explained in “Emotional Confrontations by Men” – thrown on boys.

This and many other instances led to the coining of “Men are Emotional Beings” as theme for this year’s “International Men’s Day (IMD)” on November 19.

This year’s IMD’s theme is based on the fact that since boys are castrated emotionally from childhood and it ultimately leads to mutilated emotional health of men later, abuse of men by the society and by women comes natural and goes unchallenged. Also male to male violence as portrayed in movies has become a source of entertainment. This also projects the male gender as the aggressive gender and makes misandry (male hatred) a social norm.

And, misandry hits one and all. Everyone is affected adversely by misandry. I have often found my female friends complaining to me about the restrictions imposed on them about not being allowed to go out with friends at night and this they behold as a discrimination against them. And these restrictions are not imposed due to the fear of any unanticipated incident, but these restrictions are a direct result of the misandry that exists within the parents of girls.

Adding fuel to the fire is the rampant misandry that exists in media which simply loves to portray women as victims – no matter what the circumstances. Whenever, there is any complaint received from a woman against a man, the media begins its media trial and ends it with a media conviction portraying the accused man as a hardcore criminal and the woman as a “Damsel in Distress” without even bothering to verify the matter at hand. And often many such cases which were reported in black and white by media have turned topsy-turvy later. But who accounts for the ignominy suffered by the man? Misandry sucks big time!

And it is these continuously bombarded media reports which I prefer to call as “sociological time bombs” that create a false perception of discrimination against women and the price of this false perception is paid by men in reality. They live their lives facing and experiencing misandry. On this IMD, a salute to all the men for smiling through the thunderous storm of misandry and yet providing for the society through their efforts.

Its misandry inside the society that protects the misandrist media and its misandry that prevents men from supporting men and it ultimately it leads to a blockage of communication channel for men. Having left with no option, either men turn to crime or commit suicide and both these again contribute to the misandry. Thus it has become a self-feeding vicious loop that needs to be broken.

Before we do that, it is pertinent to recall here an incident that happened recently. Rakhi Sawant, a celebrity in Indian television has started a show called, “Rakhi ka Insaaf” where she acts as judge and decides on disputes between parties including marital and property disputes. Now, NDTV Imagine in itself being an anti-male channel and the proclaimed male-hater that Rakhi Sawant is, its better not to have any expectations from the show.

However, sometimes unexpected happens in a very sad manner. Rakhi abused a man on her on open TV and called him ‘impotent’. The man was so much hurt by her statements that he committed suicide. Now, the question here is, “Who has given Rakhi Sawant the authority to abuse men on TV?” And the answer is – “Misandry”. Its misandry that exists inside the society that makes it believe any cock-and-bull story of a woman when she alleges against a man. The basic thought premise is – “The man must have done something otherwise why would the woman complain.” This is nothing but pre-conceived bias against men and Rakhi Sawant is no exception to that.

Even though abetment to suicide has been filed, why are Rakhi Sawant and the Channel Head still roaming at large? There is clear cut evidence that the man committed suicide within days of him being abused publically by Rakhi – aided by the channel. Both Rakhi and the channel are co-accomplices in the crime and they are still roaming large. This is nothing but misandry on part of the Government.

It is such numerous incidents of abuse of men that go on daily, unreported, unaddressed and unthought of, that called for the requirement of the theme – “Men are Emotional Beings” for this year’s IMD.

Though IMD is all about promoting positive male roles and celebrating the men in our lives; the fun and frolic should not ignore or forget those millions of men whose emotions are crushed daily as part of normal societal transactions.

It’s time to remind the society by way of this theme that “Men are Emotional Beings” and hurting their emotions hurts them. If the society does not stop the emotional violence on men, there is no way to bring down the crimes committed by them. Once again, as always, choice belies with the society.

This International Men’s Day – November 19 2010 – lets us all pledge to take care of the emotions of men remembering that “Men are Emotional Beings”.

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